Pursuit...

I once heard that "proof of desire is in the pursuit." I have to say that this is true. How often do we find ourselves in the middle of something that is completely above and beyond what is in our strength to accomplish and yet, we do it? We accomplish this thing that is so much bigger than us. It is our almost primal desire for this thing that causes us to pursue with such a hunger that we refuse to be denied. I feel that way about school at the moment. Three weeks left of classes and a billion things to accomplish...yet, I will get everything done because I so desperately hunger after good grades and obtaining this education. It is amazing to see to what extent we will pursue something that we truly desire.
On the other hand, it is interesting to see the issues of the heart come forth when we look at where and what we spend our time pursuing. The biggest thing for me recently has been relieving the stress through computer games. Then I have to stop and think, 'what am I accomplishing and do I really what to pursue this?' Oftentimes, the answer is no. There are so many other more healthy avenues to release stress. So, let us put that "pursuit to relieve stress" in a healthy context. I am now training to run a 5K. In addition to relieving stress, it also is getting me out of my sitting position and into a healthier lifestyle.
Anyhow... my thoughts for today. "The proof of desire is in the Pursuit." What I truly desire will be pursued!

Tightening the belt strap....

Well, it is official... only three more weeks of classes. Then I have three of four finals on the same day (May 8th). I am saying prayers!!! About this time of the semester, my blood pressure tries to go off the chart. I don't know why I get so stressed but I do. I do my best and that should be enough, right? How many times is our best NOT enough because others are expecting more? Or even worse, how come despite our best efforts, we are not pleased with ourselves? I think it is a case of comparisons. You know, sometimes, I feel that I live in a backwards world. When I should have compassion on others and try to be merciful rather than judge, I do not do so well. But when it comes to achievements, I compare myself to others WAY to much. Why should someone else set the bar for what I "should" achieve? If I do my best and apply myself, that is the best that I can do...nothing more and nothing less.
If I could ever truly get a hold of that and make it mine, I think that my life would be so much easier. I am my worst critic... I wish I was easier on myself. Maybe that should be my "new year's resolution" that I never made.
"This year, I will be satisfied with my best. Whatever the outcome, if I am faithful to do my best, I will accept that as good enough!!"

Dolls, animals and other small things...

I came home after school to clean my house before students come over; I teach piano. It was as if I had never seen my house before. I walked in and my living area has been taking over by a two year and there are toys all over the floor. How did that happen? Did munchins invade my home while I was at school and leave a mess behind them? No, the sad thing is that it was probably like that all weekend and it wasn't until someone was coming over that I "saw" the tornado that had ripped through my house.
It is interesting how we walk through life and everything is pretty much going along "ho-hum" and then something happens that causes us to see our life from a totally different perspective. I had been tripping (or creatively stepping over) toys the whole weekend. It was not until someone was going to enter this little world that I began to look at it through their eyes. It is okay in my eyes to have toys strewn about the house but for someone walking in, they would probably be appalled. They would have seen my house in one brief moment rather than looking at it over the course of a day, in which toys get picked up every 5 minutes. It was a thought provoking moment for me to stop and wonder how many times I judge other people on seeing them in one split second without ever taking the time to look at them in relation to their whole "day" or life situation.
Things that make you say "Selah..."

Spring again..

Hi, I have not been too good with keeping up with this. Partly because I forgot about it. Well, alot has happened in my life. I am in school full time and teaching piano. Both of these are relatively new experiences. I started full time with school this past fall and started teaching piano this past January. I am up to eight students and I am as thrilled as I can be.
At the moment, I am procrastinating... I am "suppose" to be writing a paper for Bristish Literature. Seeing that I am a "math/science" girl, this is coming very slowly. It is not due for another month but a good friend from New Zealand is coming to visit me for Easter and so I am trying to get all my big "end of semester" projects done before she comes. That way we can sit and chat instead of having to study!
I am so excited about my friend's arrival. I met her in 2001 when I went to New Zealand to work with ship outreach that took optical and dental care to the South Pacific Islands. It was amazing. We primary stayed around New Zealand though in a effort to do a PR tour. We were launch a new ship and were raising money. All the while, a Christian training program was going on. I was actually a part of the school as one of the staff members. I met my friend when she came aboard as a student. We have emailed and written letters over the last 4 years but I have not seen her since then. So, I am excited about her arrival.
That is about it at the moment. Enjoy this lovely spring!!!